Saturday, August 8, 2015

Offseason at Wrigley

I guess it would be better filed under "Drunk Saints Fans" but we saw how George McCaskey was shoved by a fan during a Monday night game, and now that guy was found guilty and sentenced to 6 months supervision. This at his own stadium! You'd think that he'd be at least the one guy who received decent security at Soldier Field.

Recently I was at Wrigley in some of my friends' seats (thanks they were awesome! Not like the seats Dan and I have way up in the sky ha ha) and we could see the chairman Ricketts walking around talking to folks. Everyone seemed to be in a good mood and it was a beautiful night and the Cubs won. When things are going well it probably pays to be an owner. I'm surprised that a Bears fan didn't tackle McCaskey since last season was such a tire fire. Good thing they fired everyone (and ate millions in salaries to pay people on guaranteed contracts) because even if the Bears stink again this year, you can't do much more than fire everybody and then try to find the best new guys available.

If there's one thing you do at Wrigley Field, it is DRINKING. I went to buy a decent beer (not Bud Light) and I found literally the most inefficient process in the universe. They have a few decent beers (Goose Island) and you stand in a line that serves beer AND FOOD (the dumb lady in front of us ordered hot dogs and a pretzel even though there are a million other places that serve that stuff) and this is one of the few stands where you can get non-piss beer. Then literally the slowest guy in the universe walked over in a couple of trips, got the bottles and cans, and poured them ever so slowly into cups. I have to hand it to the guy he let the foam go down and even topped up the cup. It must have taken 5 minutes AFTER I GOT TO HIM IN LINE. Someone else shouted "pretzel" and he added it to my bill and I'm like "I don't want a pretzel" so he then has to void the transaction and I'm not even going to talk about that but you can imagine the rest.

Wrigley Field must be losing a zillion dollars in lost beer revenue from this insane process. The entire point of Wrigley Field is to efficiently shove alcohol into gargantuan sized Illinois residents and tourists and they've got to find a way to make this occur more efficiently or I will go insane just from the lost opportunity. Ricketts - guy in the photo above - you could literally re-build the stadium out of gold bars if you could figure out this beer process. And it is so damn simple...

1) have a "beer only" section with no food
2) have servers who are not 75 years old and are mentally prepared with the concept that "people are in line to buy beer"
3) find any sort of process that doesn't involve 10 steps to acquire the beer and put it in a vessel of some sorts (a cup?)
4) expedite the payment process - hell put in Apple pay - some how drive this faster

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Google Search

Every time I tell people we run a site called "Drunk Bear Fans" they laugh their butt off and whip out their mobile phones and look it up and chuckle. Since we are too lazy to move this site off Blogger (Word Press is frankly way more awesome) I read recently that Google is going to start punishing sites in their rankings if they don't have a good mobile view. We want our (few) fans to be able to see us so we turned on the mobile view from blogger - you have to figure that using Google's own damn mobile format has to qualify you for good mobile features in their eyes. Originally we tried to turn on the dynamic views but it was buggy and people didn't have a ton of bandwidth on their phones but hell that was years' ago so we are back at 'em on mobile views.

Also on a funny note I had a dream that Dan went to a pre-season game and woke up and was like "WTF"?   But then I realized it was a dream and of course he wasn't going to a damn useless pre season game.  This year I will try to go more and get more crazy drunk fan photos since that's what we do best here.  I was frankly demoralized by the ass-kicking that the Bears were getting from other teams and it was just damn depressing to be at Soldier Field as the season fell apart so we gave our tickets away to people who had never been to a Bears game before and that is always cool when they go and are kind of awed by the experience.  Especially the super long walk up to the worst seats in the house, which is where we reside in the Bears' kingdom.  There are 17 sections in the Bears stadium and we have some OK and some right near the top of the deck so I'd say that we are section 17 1/2.   We get our damn money's worth at that price, not a dollar more.

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Drunk Bear Fans - A Kid's View

Over here at DBF we usually just stick with the humor.  But there are a lot of obnoxious drunks at any football game.

I talked to my nephew about some of the games that we took him to and here were his "memories".  Makes you un-proud to be a Bears' fan.
I remember when we went to see the Bears when they played in Champaign.  This was when they were remodeling Soldier Field.  I was about 11 or so and my first memory was two giant fat screaming drunk shirtless guys fighting up in the stands.
We also took him to a playoff game - the one against Carolina where Steve Smith caught like 1 million yards against the Bears.  The joke is that he's still running today... more memories from my nephew.
I was wearing a grey high school jacket.  Drunk people thought they were Carolina Panther colors and were coming up to me trying to fight me.
Sad but true Bears' fan memories from a kids' point of view.

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Bears Girls

Here were some girls having fun dressed up as "Bears Girls" at the game.

They were funny from the back, too. Love the tiki skirts.

Not that anyone but our 2 fans cares but our DBF site has been a little thin because this season has bitten the dust so badly that we are hardly tailgating and usually giving away the tickets to the game to folks who are excited to go just because they have never been to a Bears game before. Hopefully next year doesn't suck so hard.

Friday, October 24, 2014

Obscure Jersey Treasure Trove

I found these on my camera and forgot I had them.  From the Packer game earlier this year.

Capone!  That is at least new and original.  I sort of like it.
 Johnny Knox.  Poor Johnny Knox.  We used to call him Johnny Motherfucking Knox.  Poor guy took one of the most gruesome hits I have ever seen and is lucky to be walking today.
 Of course, blog favorite Drunk'N Idiot.
 Greg Olsen!  He has gone on to have a very good career at Carolina, but damn I hated that guy while he was here.
 The A-Train.  Remember him?  Anthony Thomas.  He had I think one good year.
 Packer fans get in on the action too.  The funny part about this one is that this guy probably had the Flynn jersey from the first time that Flynn was on the Packers.  GOD I hope we see him on the field again this year.
 Neil Anderson.  Autographed, no less.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

The Site That Writes Itself

'Nuff said.


I hope this guy got a discount on his Bears jersey because they mis-spelled Cutler. Awesome! I can't believe I picked it out of the crowd. I wonder if he even knows that it is a misprint.

Bears Girls

Not quite sure what this outfit was about but these two girls were having fun as blue Bears. They must have been hot in those Cookie Monster suits it was blazing in the sun.

Mayor Daley Lives!

One of the reasons Dan and I started Drunk Bear Fans was "Mayor Daley", a Bears fan in the south lot who hung out with a guy who wore a "Drunk'n Idiot" jersey and at around 10:30 he'd stand up and give a rambling "our house" speech atop any sort of vehicle he could find. He was such a hit with Dan and I that he has his own category - check it out to see some of his great movies.

Well we didn't go to the South lot for a few years when we hit the Adler lot and so we never knew what happened to him but on the way into the game today I saw Drunk'n Idiot and right next to him on the left wearing the Cutty jersey I could see the mayor! He lives! That's good to know. Also love the older dude with them who face painted himself with Bears' colors. He was part of their posse I believe.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Goofy Bills Fan

Got to hand it to this Bills fan he was the hit of the section (you can see all the girls taking photos of him and laughing) with this crazy getup. He's gonna get a lot of tail wearing this apparently.

The "Obscure-est" Jersey Ever

Like Captain Ahab seeking the white whale I have constantly been on the lookout for anyone wearing the elusive Garrett Wolfe jersey. Nothing against Wolfe, who played for Northern and was a third round draft pick by our demented former management, but the guy had lifetime 274 yards in the NFL.

I saw and briefly talked to the guy and he appeared normal but we crossed wires and I was unable to get from him the narrative of how and why he came to own the coveted most obscure jersey ever. Must have been the alcohol on both sides...

Monday, July 21, 2014

Obscure Jersey Off Season (updated)

Good friend of the most important site on the intertubes Fro Dog sent us this picture of another guy living in the past. However, at least Berrian wasn't always a bust like most of the Bears' offensive picks, likely because he was a third rounder and not a doomed first rounder. Man it seems like a long time ago when he was our receiver threat for the last Super Bowl that the Bears' played in...

And more from our friend Fro Dog! Here is Tommy Harris. Have to say that Tommy Harris was dominant once but it definitely has been a while... like since the Super Bowl loss that we never discuss here at DBF because it is too painful. As soon as we signed a huge contract with Harris he pretty much became a bust. Under the new CBA they certainly would have contained their losses better especially with Emery and Trestman at the helm but hey that's too serious for us here at DBF.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

The South Lot is Being Killed Off!

In a tragedy for fans of drunken behavior, the South Lot is being killed off for a damn Star Wars museum.

Rahm promises a replacement but we know we will get screwed.

Our lack of decent space for tailgating is already a disgrace now it is going to get worse.

Now they will have to pack even more drunks in a tighter space.

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Admitting Failure

Last winter up in the cheapest of the cheap seats at Soldier Field it was absolutely brutal. The wind was whipping through and for a few games it frankly was hit or miss whether or not I'd lose my toes.

I pulled out my phone a few times to take a photo and it immediately discharged from the cold. It was stone dead. I missed the girls next to us with a frozen beer (they didn't drink it fast enough) and the usual crop of shirtless fools. Thus, I admit that I failed the most important site on the intertubes, DBF.

As a result of this debacle I am thinking about getting one of these next year and just pinning it to my hat. It isn't a go pro, it just takes random pictures every thirty seconds or so. I wouldn't rely on this solely, I'd bring out my old fashioned camera too, but could use it as a backup. Because the work we do here is IMPORTANT, or we like to think so.

Drunk Bear Fan Sees Himself In Lights, Doesn't Like It

Well, this is a first.  We received an email from a Drunk Bear Fan who found himself here on the most important site on the internet.  He asked us to take his photo down.  Which we did, because hey, we are great people.  See you at Soldier Field in just a few months!

Saturday, March 1, 2014

Classic Wisonsin

Here at Drunk Bear Fans we aren't afraid to let other fans get involved in the fun.

This classic photo comes from the facebook page of the Fox Wisconsin Girls.  I like the FWG because they are cute, but not slutty, an odd paradigm for marketing that I haven't quite yet figured out.  Anyways.

Today they posted the below photo of some of the (tens of) Brewer fans that were camping out at Miller Park to get first dibs on those extremely valuable Brewer tickets for the coming year.  I told the blond that she should probably take a shower after having her arm around that guy.

I imagine these guys pulled an awesome booze fueled all nighter.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Flamingo Beer Bongs

Back in 2011 the intrepid correspondents at Drunk Bear Fans found these guys using something we called the "Beermingo" which was a combination flamingo / beer bong. Happy to see they now can be bought in bulk at Urban Outfitters.

Also wanted to apologize for the lack of photos in the last few games. It was so damn cold my phone discharged almost immediately in the weather. Next year I may get one of those "button cams" that takes photos every 30 seconds so I can chronicle the usual crop of drunks, shirtless guys, and everything else. We had girls next to us at one of the games whose beer froze entirely - it wasn't a joke up there in the cheap seats.

Friday, November 22, 2013

More Tailgating Innovation

I forgot that Dan added "Tailgating Innovation" to the categories on the sidebar.  This is our contribution... a nice cozy for our mini keg full of ice for a hot early season game.  You won't need that now in the dead of winter.

Classic Post Tailgate Refuse

This is exactly how the Bears expect you to leave your tailgate spot when you head into the stadium.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Hamming It Up For The Camera

This guy in a Bears hat was mugging for the camera over blaring music.  Love the quote from Ditka on the back of their van.