Thursday, December 29, 2011

Soldier Field No Drunks

Chicago is a very cosmopolitan city. We receive millions of tourists from the United States and overseas. And many of them come to view our top museums and attractions, including aquariums & the planetarium.

I always feel pity for those people when they happen to do a tourist-type activity on a Sunday or Monday (or perhaps even Thursday) that coincides with a football game at Soldier Field. For one thing, our parking system is a notorious mess and parking spots are extortionate in terms of pricing on game day, and you can't even get near the stadium due to congestion unless you arrive way early or late, or park nearby and walk.

And for those that do make it there - what do they see? Acres and acres of staggering drunks. I remember bringing a German friend who had seen it all during Oktoberfest and even he was stunned at the number of drunks in the South Lot (which is why we moved to Adler, even we couldn't take it anymore). Unless you are familiar with tailgating or being in the Wrigley Field bleachers or have been to the Preakness (I love the "running of the urinals" look it up on You Tube) a normal person from a normal country doesn't typically see such densely populated groups of drunks. In fact we are the "Manhattan" of drunks - so many people packed wall to wall in the South Lot, with outposts of drunks elsewhere.

When I recently went to the aquarium I had to pause for a minute and take a photo of Soldier Field, no drunks. It seemed odd.

See you next year on Drunk Bear Fans, the most important site on the Inter Tubes.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Who's Your Daddy?

Nothing shouts "class" like simulated humping atop a van in front of thousands of other Drunk Bear Fans.

Field Museum Lot

I tailgated at the Field Museum Lot for a change of pace. It was pretty low-key except for a DJ type booth on the side nearest the museum.

Dan's favorite. Mmmmm Mmmm. Nothing like piles of empty Bud Lite cans.

Bearaholic. That's good..

Last stop for Miller Lite time for Carl to put it in the dumpster before walking in to the stadium (and buying more Miller Lite).

Friday, December 9, 2011

Suit Crew

We like the Bears Suit Crew guys. Creative, yet a bit unexplained. Crack correspondent Gerry from Valpo reports that he received the nice can coozy for free.

Beer Bong

Not much better than a Drunk Bear Fan assuming the position. This photo taken by Gerry from Valpo on assignment. He notes that she looks like she has been in this position several times before.

Hated Jukebox

We love the Adler lot, it is WAY better than being in the South Lot with the Mayor and Drunk'n Idiot and all of those guys. But there is a group that always brings this damned jukebox and speakers and blasts sad, sad tunes. The good news is that this creates wonderful betting fodder and great fun with odds. I believe I won a 4-1 $20 bet on the under for the amount of time that Stranglehold by Ted Nugent would be on until someone pulled the plug on it. I believe Carl also lost a bet that "Won't Get Fooled Again" would be on within the next five songs. Sadly, the redistribution of wealth was indeed random that day as the Bears pulled off several first downs costing me my new found wealth inside the game, and those $20 bills floated right back into Carl's wallet from whence they came.

Anyways, these guys play this jukebox WAY too loud and it is stocked with every craptacular song ever recorded. We wish they would just stop. I will admit that they have a nice bar next to the juke.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Security Takes Out A Drunk

Since we are way way up in the cheap seats you don't usually see the (mostly) fat red-jacketed security guards truck all the way up there unless they have a good reason. In the 3rd quarter of the game vs. the Chargers 5 guards came up once and went back down and then they came up again a few minutes late in full force and were really having it out with some classically-drunk Bears fan. I couldn't tell what was going on but someone in the seats near me said that they were fighting with a girl too. The guy was seriously fighting with the guards attempting to land roundhouse punches so I can't imagine that it ended up well for him (and / or the girl he was with) because they were bringing an army of guys and were going to drag him off to do who-knows-what with him. That is a classic ending to a drunk Bear fans evening. Also note the pretty damn obscure Sanzenbacher jersey...

Shirtless Idiot Chargers Fan

It was damn cold at the Bears / Chargers game. Maybe because it was damp and windy or just that we haven't acclimated to the winter yet. In any case it seemed cold to be a shirtless idiot Chargers fan way way up in the cheap seats taunting an army of drunken Bears fan. Not a great plan.

Passed out girl Bears fan

We see people passed out frequently at Bears games or during tailgates. Usually it is during the nicer weather and in my experience they have always been guys. This was a first! A girl was passed out a couple rows from me.

Her boyfriend or whatever was having fun with her he put his phone about 2 inches from her face and took her picture and laughed.

Here he is getting a bit tired of the spectacle and he gets up to drag her off to do whatever he is going to do with her. She isn't much good to him passed out in the cheap seats.

Beer Helmet

What possesses a fully-grown adult male to wear a beer helmet on his head? The prospect that you could go a full 5 minutes without getting a drink. Note the yellow jacketed beer vendor immediately adjacent.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Drunk Girls Atop RV

Over at Adler Lot not only is the Bear parking but they also have RV parking (and cash parking too, which is always a disaster because they have like 2 spots and a ton of people pack up and try to get in). At some point drunks always climb up atop their RV's and custom tailgating vans and either start shouting (guys) or dancing (girls). Since these are girls they are dancing.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Breast Shot

From the Wisco/Nebraska Game:

This is pretty good fun.


We had a pretty disturbing episode later. While walking to the car two women approached Carl and I somewhat despondent that they couldn't find their car - both were completely intoxicated and one had already taken a header and had a cut on the bridge of her nose and blood was running down her face. We tried at first to help but they were talking gibberish and eventually I decided that helping them find their car wasn't the best thing for anyone at that point.

You Are Doing It All Wrong

The guy that is married to this woman is doing it all wrong and making me look like a life planning genius. That is all I will say about that.

Too Many Questions

The girl on the front right while cute was trying to delve into the mysteries and ins and outs of the business plan of Drunk Bear Fans. She couldn't believe that she was talking to the OWNER of a website and wondered why I didn't have a business card to prove myself, as if that is the best line I could possibly come up with to start a conversation. These five were having a pretty good time.

Excellent Economic Analysis

We ran into this guy who taught us a thing or two about how to drink. Rather than spend $36 for a six pack of 16 ouncers at the bar, this guy bought pitchers for $16 each and drank them right out of that container.

Not sure how many ounces that pitcher is, but it looks like good beer and he is getting a great value, all things considered.

Oddly, the same six sixteen ouncers of cornwater that we paid six bucks for each would have cost 8.50 each at Soldier Field, so if you look at it that way it was still a bargain. Or something.

Ballin' On A Budget

Sorry, sort of out of focus, but that's how we roll here at DBF.

Always Wear Your Drinking Bib

Tiny Shot of Beer

A guy was selling beads with tiny beer mugs on the end. Of course Carl and I goaded this drunk fan into doing shots with us and she was more than happy to oblige.

Six Pack on the Waist

That engineering degree came in handy to create something of value!

Wis Fucking Consin

The strange t-shirts were out in full force.

Sleeping on Porta Johns

I really wish this shot would have turned out better. This was around the third quarter after Carl and I went back to the bars. This guy was passed out on the portas, sort of flopping back and forth trying to keep himself upright but sleeping at the same time.

Best T Shirt

Nothing like a good sc*t reference when you are trying to pick up the ladies, I always say.

Miller Lite Wide Mouths

Carl and I were going to a pre game tailgate and got behind these three, each of whom had a sixer (or is it an eight pack?) of the Miller Lite widemouth aluminum "bottle". Upon reflection Carl and I decided that indeed, the normal mouthed bottles certainly aren't wide enough - you must be able to get MORE of that valuable cornwater down the hatch FASTER thus the modern design.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Livin' Large with DBF

Here at DBF we know how to travel in style when we go on road trips to cover drunken fans outside of Chicago. This sign was taped to the front door of Carl's hotel in Madison...

Old Dude with Badger Hat

This old guy was an absolute hit at the bar we saw him at with this badger hat on his head. He put some corn husks in the badger's mouth too but that must have fallen out on the way to the stadium.

No Turds No Tamps

Awesome sign on this private porta-john tailgating in Madison

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Drunk Bear Fans on Assignment

Carl and I will be at the Wisco-Nebraska tilt today and all of the pre game revelry that will go along with it. It is a lock that we will have a LOT of material for this blog from this one.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Obscure Jersey Contest

Curtis Conway was a first round pick who had his last decent season with the Bears in 1996... another bitter bust.

Really... you can't do better than Rashaan Salaam... a Bears first round draft pick and a bust who last played (badly) with the Bears in 1995. He pioneered the Bears running back "bust mode" which peaked with Enis and Benson. May they all rot in Hades.

Hey while we are at it why not Barney? I wasn't able to get a photo of Trumaine McBride, an obscure guy from the Bears secondary (when they sucked) a couple years ago. Can't believe someone owns that jersey, but I saw it with my own eyes.

Bad Skewer Meat

Not far from us were some guys grilling a giant hunk of meat (they said it was lamb) way above coals that looked not-so-hot. I wouldn't recommend trying this at home.

Drunk Beer Pong

The guys next to us were playing some sort of drinking game but the interesting part is that they had Miller Lite and TWINKIES (I even had one, too). What a combo!

These folks all laughed when I told them that they could be on "Drunk Bear Fans". Later I realized that many were Packers fans but hot girls are OK regardless.

Nice T Shirts

Soldier Field is always the place for classy T Shirts. You can't see the one on the left but it says "Gotcha Bitch"

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Serious Yahoo! Article on Drunken Fans Name Checks Drunk Bear Fans

Not to get too serious here at Drunk Bear Fans but a recent article in Yahoo! called "Time to deal with drunken fans" actually mentions our site on the ol' intertubes.

I've got a friend who, like most Americans, loves just about everything that is the NFL... Some of the other things he sees, he's not so excited about. It's a rare game he attends without someone nearby puking in their seat or equally drunken fans rolling in the next aisle over, fighting each other for who knows what reason. Make sure if you bring a kid, he or she is familiar with the F-word, too. That's about all they'll hear. "Just like being in a tavern on a Saturday night," my friend said.

Yes, we all recognize that. When we bring friends who haven't been up in our cheap seats to an NFL game for the first time they are often astounded by how drunken everyone is and the foul language. Often they are surprised to see the women shouting obscenities at each other too.

I've walked through some of those parking lots several hours before game time, and the amount of drinking that goes on is staggering. By the time many fans actually get into the stadium they're staggering, too, and there are three full quarters — plus halftime — to put away even more booze. They're easy enough to spot in any stadium. If anyone in Chicago needs any more help there's a blog called "Drunk Bear Fans" blog that takes special delight in showing them off in various stages of drunkenness each week of the season.

Hey, that's us. And if you are drunk and staggering around, we do take a special delight in putting you on the ol' intertubes. We are right in the middle of all of it.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Beer Shower and Shotgun Video

This is just the best video ever here at Drunk Bear Fans. I will simply leave it at that.

Case of Empties in the Aisle

Beers are now up to $8.50 (!) in the stands for a can of Miller Lite swill. As if that isn't enough of a kick to the nads, I get to see the beer vendor guys try to pull every conceivable scam possible to extract as much currency as they can from the unsuspecting consumers. My favorites are "I don't have any change" and "I will be right back with your change". Also classic are simply ignoring the customer's pleas for change and moving on.

But this is a new one. A beer vendor toward the end of the game simply left his cases of empties in the aisle for the hapless patrons to trip over constantly. I think my over/under was three minutes on this bet.

Of course it happened repeatedly.

Ticket Time

If you bring beers out of the designated areas, you will get written up by Chicago's finest. Trust me.

Water Over The Head Guy

It wasn't really that hot this day.

Miller Lite Can Stack

Carl has already put up a photo of the Miller Lite Can Stacking Girls, but here is another montage. I don't get it, but it certainly qualifies for posting here at Drunk Bear Fans. And you can't beat that tattoo. Hey, I asked permission.

Something You Will Never See In The South Lot

This is why we park in the Adler now.

What Are The Odds...

What are the odds that anything could go wrong with this combination of fire and hard liquor in the back of that vehicle?

Fro Dog and Carl

A big shoutout to our friend FroDog who I am sure is excited to get his mug on this site, the most important on the internets.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Drunk hotties stacking Miller Lite cans

Also they seemed pretty excited to be on Drunk Bear Fans, the most important site on the ol' intertubes.

Gould Fan Drunk

After the 2011 Bears opener vs the Falcons this dude had to be helped back to Adler lot after the game. Hope he isn't driving...