Saturday, December 22, 2012

Drunk Fan Throwing Up At Columns

Sorry for the slightly grainy photo but friends saw this guy spitting up over the columns at half time. Nice.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Banana Costume

Got to love the banana costume and the frosty head.


Here's the definition of "trust" at Soldier Field. It was right near the end of the third quarter when beer sales cut off and there was a big scramble and the beer vendor gave me an unopened can in a cup. I've been to hundreds of sporting events in Chicago and this has never happened. I'm sure someone somewhere is worried that I could have used it as a projectile. Just for Dan you can see the dimple in the top where Miller Lite makes it easy to shotgun the beer down your gullet.

Drunk Packer Fans

I don't know if it was the inevitability of another defeat or our losing streak but the crowd didn't seem to take it out on the Packer fans. Everyone was more or less getting along compared to the fights I'd expect.

This guy rung a cowbell every time the Packers did something good. I think either he toned it down or someone muffled his bell because it got quieter in the second half.

This one was completely faced. The girl below us was worried about her (another Packer fan) and asked as she came back up if she was with someone and she was. It was her 21st B day and I get the feeling that Monday is going to be a long day for her.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

F Bears Haters

This guy was tailgating right next to us so I didn't have to move far to get this photo. He was surprisingly pleasant given his obnoxious shirt. He was a Bears fan out of Pennsylvania which means he must have an incredibly thick skin; that damn state is split between hellish Steelers fans and hellish Eagles fans. Love the hair, too. He also had a Marshall jersey which I think he planned to wear to get into the stadium which seemed like an intelligent move.

Drunk Bear Fan Stumbles Out

For whatever reason it has been quiet up in the cheap non PSL seats the last few games. I don't know what is causing it but I also think that the "text security" model must be putting a dent in drunken behavior because it is much more anonymous to send a text about a drunk rather than going down to find security because then your drunken nemesis knows who is tattling on him.

This guy however was TOTALLY faced. He kept falling as they brought him down the steps in the fourth quarter. Since he was moving so slowly the falls weren't impacting him much. His friends were getting him out of there before security caught up with him or he threw up on someone else up in the cheap seats.

Bears Remote Control Car

This was clever. The remote controlled Bear car dragged the Seattle mascot through the Adler lot.

Obscure Jersey - Ancient Edition

While we bemoan the obscure jerseys here at DBF another un-explainable trend is people picking jerseys for Bears players that have been dead forever.

Sid Luckman last played in 1950. That was SIXTY TWO years ago. It is a long shot that this guy was old enough to have seen him play but really, what is the point of this jersey? At least at QB really the only 3 great ones that the Bears have had in forever are Luckman, McMahon and likely Cutty if he can stay alive & un-concussed long enough.

Nagurski? He last played in 1943. That is almost SEVENTY years ago. Really? Can't we find someone more recent?

Monday, November 26, 2012


One of our favorite topics here at "the most important site on the internet" (tm) is the obscure jersey. I don't know if it is a Bear fan deal, or if all NFL teams' fans have this thing going on. At any home Bear game you can see plenty of people with jerseys on (which is dumb enough) but the fact that we can get to re-live the horrible players of the past just makes no sense at all.

At what point do you look at yourself in the mirror and say that you just need to toss that Rashaan Salaam jersey? Are you really that cheap? And why do you wear the number 23 of Jerry Azumah instead of the almost universally known and current roster member Hester?

This is the question that simply cannot be answered. If we could figure it out it would be like finding the Higgs Boson particle.

Stalwart contributor Fro Dog has done the Lord's work and sent me this photo from last Sunday of a guy with a "handicapped" Cade jersey while washing up in the bathroom. My god.
He also reports seeing an Olin Kreutz and an Aromashedu - who by the way was on the field for the VIKINGS yesterday. The obscure jersey theme really is amazing.

On another note, Fro also notes that he got to see a woman barf all over some fans down below her way up in the nose bleeds. No photos of that but good to hear that things are normal up there.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Cow Fan

This photo epitomizes what makes "Drunk Bear Fans" what we are.

A grown adult man, in a cow costume, smoking one of those fake nicotine electronic cigarettes, proudly being hammered.

Full disclosure - I have that exact same costume, although I don't wear it plus shorts to the Bears game.

Suit Crew and Beer Bongs

We have a lot of Suit Crew photos up here so need something new to merit another photo - so then they added the beer bong and that was worthy of the site.

Intentionally Bald Costume Dude (Carl Brutananadilewski)

At the Bears / Carolina game it was COLD. This guy was in some sort of Halloween costume with shorts and just a T Shirt. This was half time and the guy was in great spirits. This merits a "no shirt" tag because it was a wife beater.

Hey thanks to the ol' intertubes an alert commentor said that he is in a halloween costume for this guy.

Lost Opposing Fans

I can understand 1) going as a fan in colors for your home team 2) following your team on the road and wearing colors 3) going incognito. Here is what I don't understand - wearing the colors of your team at an opposing stadium WHEN YOUR TEAM ISN'T PLAYING. That is inviting personal abuse with no upside.

Here is a lost Browns fan wandering around during the Bears / Indy home game. At least no one gives the slightest crap about Cleveland.

But this one makes NO sense. A queens fan wandering around during the Bears / Carolina game. This guy invited a spray of beers as well as an entire section chanting "a**hole". Why would you wear these colors and attend a Bears game? Just to hope they lose? Then watch it on TV...

Empty Family Friendly Lot

While tailgating at the Adler lot I found an empty lot near game time which struck me as quite odd. Then I looked at the sign and figured out why - it was a "family friendly" lot with no alcohol. OK then it makes sense why no one bothered to tailgate there - tailgating w/out booze is pointless (apparently).

This is the optimal level of booze per tailgate... ten smashed Miller Lite cans per attendee.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Douchebag Bears Fan

I was tallying up my haul of photos for DBF and was a little disappointed for a Monday night football game against the Lions with beautiful weather and then I ran into this guy and all was right with the world.

Bachelorette Party in the Cheap Seats

Gotta love the idea of having your bachelorette party at the Bears' game but how about better seats than the nosebleeds that Dan and I sit in because we refuse to pay for a PSL.

The Heckler Inadvertently Gives Us Love

The Heckler (whom we love, it's over on the blogroll) inadvertently gave us some love with this "costume" T Shirt that you can buy at the Heckler store.

Obscure Jersey

Oh my god I couldn't believe my eyes... this woman had a WEBB jersey on. I had to rub my eyes and look on my phone to confirm that, yes, this is actually Webb's number 73 and not her family name.

WHY would you want a jersey from what is arguably the worst lineman in the NFL? A guy so bad that the Heckler not-so-jokingly called him the "Defensive Player of the Week"?

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Edible Food

Dan and I always avoid eating anything at Soldier Field because the Chicago Park District generally has terrible food (plus we are stuffed from the tailgate before the game). Ryan Field in Evanston, on the other hand, has Hecky's barbecue which is excellent and highly recommended. Put the spicy sauce on it for extra kick.

Drunk Children of the Corn

This guy with a "Children of the Corn" T Shirt shouted that slogan at Nebraska passer-bys and gave high fives from the bleachers.

Lots of people work the corn hats - must be their version of cheeseheads. Note that they are drinking "Big Red" which apparently is a soda.

Drunk Husker Fan Dressed as Starlet

This guy in our section was hilarious. He was dressed as some sort of starlet with short shorts, fishnet shirt, and stockings and wig. Lots of people were high fiving him.

Up close if you looked he even shaved his stomach to complete the look. He was a hit with the ladies...

Public Transit Drinkers

Heading up to Evanston for the Nebraska vs. Northwestern game on the "L" my "CSI" eye for drunken detail noted these (vile) Coors Light cans had the telltale holes from shotgunning. They weren't efficient like the "punch tops" now on Miller Lite cans.

This Husker in overalls was a likely shotgun contender he was representing his state and doing it proud.

Nebraska Elvis Crew

We like to visit the "Suit Crew" here at DBF but Nebraska has their version too with this traveling Elvis sort of suit crew that came out to the Northwestern game. They were very popular with all the fans who came out to take photos with them.

Cornwater Innovation

We here at Drunk Bear Fans always appreciate innovation in the consumption and/or disposal of alcoholic beverages.  At the Badger vs. Illini game, Carl and I participated in the latest innovation to help you ingest as much cornwater as humanly possible in the shortest amount of time.  I forget what the official name is for this but in the end it is a built in shotgun apparatus that you use your key to puncture.  Mmmmm mmmm it goes down so smooth.


Besides this cute girl holding one each of the dreaded Miller Lite and even more dreaded Coors Light, notice what she is balancing so skillfully on the top of her head.  That is a rubber bracelet of the type you see people wearing for different causes, such as Lance Armstrong's "LiveStrong" campaign - but this one is emblazoned with the Miller Lite logo.  We were a bit taken aback that they were passing these out, but hey - free is free.  I am sure Carl has placed his in a place of pride.

Monday, October 8, 2012

That's Why We Can't Have Nice Things

Dan and I were recently having a bit of a debate on why the Bears make the vendors carry the cans up and pour them into a plastic cup rather than the far more efficient route of just popping open an aluminum can and handing it to the patron. This would be 10x quicker and also avoid having the vendor having to carry empty cans (and frequently abandon them on the aisle) which gets in everyone's way.

And lo and behold the answer came as if from above. I was watching the one-game baseball playoff where Atlanta got eliminated by the Cardinals when the umpires made a controversial infield fly call late in the game and the fans just showered the field with beer bottles (and water bottles, and anything else at hand). You can see the McCasket's watching this clip and figuring that Drunken Bear fans would definitely hurl any available projectiles. And thus... that's why we can't have nice things.

Drunk Illini Fans

DBF recently went "on location" for Illinois vs. Wisconsin. This intrepid reporter could barely stand to be packed cheek to jowl (and many jowls since this was Wisconsin) with so many completely 'faced people for 10+ hours, since everyone started drinking at 7am or prior for the 2:30pm game.

Love the 'stache crew and also the T shirt which sums up the DBF ethos so well.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Making Mom Proud

Does The Wall Street Journal Read Drunk Bear Fans?

You never know. On their back page they have a little blurb about football, particularly RG III and the start of his career with the Redskins called "A Name the Redskins Hope Sticks".

The article follows them walking into the game and looking at all the jerseys - old jerseys and obscure jerseys of some of their doomed QB's along the way (note - we picked up Jason Campbell but gave you sexy Rexy - "trash for trash"). But I love this

I did see one gentleman with a bespoke Washington jersey that read A.DRUNKGUY, and I was grateful for the conscientious heads-up

Hey we had that first with good ol' Drunk'N Idiot and Mayor Daley, stalwart highlight generators for Drunk Bear Fans over at the South Lot since we started this site. They are so great for us we even have a category on the sidebar.

And the focus on obscure jerseys... also one we do better, as you can see from the recent haul of obscurity at the St Louis game.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Shot gunning beer

Part of being a dedicated member of the Drunk Bear Fans crew and doing the most important work on the most important site on the internet is taking the time to talk to drunks throughout the lot.

It is generally polite to ask if you are going to take a photo of video of someone - here I am pointing a camera at her and she notices and is later happy to be part of the Drunk Bear Fans empire (Dan will post a movie later). We notice because she was about to shotgun a beer and was drinking horrid Bud Light and also the dreaded Coors Light you can see cans strewn about.

Dan is filming her and asking her to finish up the last of the vile swill her shot-gunned beer. We need to be thorough.

This girl has some great lines I won't spoil it will wait for the video and you can hear it straight from the horse's mouth.

More Obscure Jerseys

We hit the veritable "mother lode" of obscure jerseys at the St Louis game.

The sharp eyes of Dan's guests noted that this wasn't the usual 23 Devin Hester - this is the 23 for Jerry Azumah! If she wears her hair long enough likely no one will know, and certainly no one would suspect that this jersey still exists.

Dusty Devoracek... he had one of the shortest and most bust-like careers of a (relatively) high 3rd round draft choices in years... he had 31 tackles total for the Bears and played in only a few games. Yet someone bought his jersey...

This one is crazy. Who creates a jersey for a long-snapper? Mannelly? I agree that it is important to have a long snapper on the roster but I can't believe anyone would be excited enough to buy a jersey for one. Look - he snapped that punt - awesome.

Also interesting is the fact that Mannelly, a guy who must not get banged up very much, has had a long career (since 1998) while Azumah and Devoracek flamed out very quickly.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

High Five Guy

We noticed this guy about midway through the second quarter during the Colts game. He was extremely intoxicated and was high fiving every woman coming up the aisle, including grandmas. In this video he tries to high five a chick but she doesn't see him so he is left hanging. If he didn't have to leave to take a piss he would have high fived cute Cutler chick for sure. As it is, he still gave her ass a good look.

Later, his friend WISELY positioned himself on the aisle, trying to get High Five Guy out of the aisle and away from the girls he was harassing. It was to no avail but this Colts babe wasn't taking any of his shit.

The friend got the better of the day and they left early before the Red Shirts came to get them.

Red Shirts

Up in the cheap seats we have the red shirts who kick out drunks and other people behaving badly. I am not sure what was up with this but here is some video of what happens when somone is getting kicked out. The dude with the black pony tail came from the top of the stadium, presumably from some doors that Carl and I noticed for the first time atop the 400 section. We likely noticed these doors for the first time because we were both sober. So he comes down from the top to block the short end of the aisle, and the dude with the crappy toupee, radio piece and sunglasses comes from the other side down the row, presumably to grab the person they want to kick out. From the way they are looking around I am guessing this was a smoker - I am guessing that they were looking for a cigarette butt on the ground. Bears "security" scans the stadium with binocs for people behaving badly and they really, really hate smoking in there. But nobody ever got tossed after this episode so they must have received some bad info.

Bears Butt

I always cringe when I see a little kid at the Bear game because I always know what they will see and hear as we have documented here on these pages. Sort of like how I cringe when I see a little kid in Vegas. But this kid has a pretty decent looking mom who creatively adorned her jeans with Bear logos. Good wife/mom. But bad wife/mom for allowing the kid to go to the game unless a) in some sort of suite or b) this is their first game and they didn't know what they were getting into.

Ticket Time

Chicago's finest were very busy at the home opener against the hated Colts. After you get out of the tailgating lots, there is NO BOOZE on the streets. Here is Dick Butkus getting an open container love letter from the city. I know, I know, there are serious crimes going on all over Chicago, but that would take actual work, and it is a lot easier to collect fines from the hapless drunks at the Bear game.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Dan Rocks Out With the Cornwater Vendor

This guy just sat down and made himself at home up in the cheap seats with us. As always it is mayhem getting up and down the stairs with the beer vendors clogging half of it up, since they can't just hand you an aluminum can with the top off like they do in way more efficient stadiums and instead have to idiotically pour it into a plastic cup and then walk around with a ton of empties. I guess this is because they don't want us raining down aluminum cans, but this seems dumb because lots of other stadiums have already converted over.

But that won't stop the Bears, hell, we have the stooooopid drum line over cheerleaders, we pick a bad plan and we STICK WITH IT.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Chicago Park District Sucks (but a bit less...)

Mmmm mmm we always get an awesome tailgate when Gerry / Terry or Dan are doing the cooking; not so much when Carl is getting sandwiches from Subway or something else that sucks. But we all agree - don't eat the food at Soldier Field. Here are the dishes laid out as examples for drunken fans. Don't worry, you'll see them again coming out the other side soon enough.

They were wanding people coming in to the stadium. I am too lazy to look it up but likely this is some sort of NFL rule. They started doing this on the last regular season home game and it almost started riots (see here). This is the line before game time (I took it from inside the stadium, through the fence - this is the north side by the museum); we packed up our tailgate early to avoid the line and got in just fine about a half hour before kickoff but a lot of people who waited were stuck in this line or ones elsewhere around the stadium and they probably got in late.

Can't believe I'm saying this but the parking situation prior to the start of the tailgate wasn't as idiotic as usual. Typically they "roust" you and don't let you idle in one spot before they open the Adler lot at 8am. This time they let us sit and we were one of the first people in line. We asked if we could park by the grass to set up our tent and the guy said something along the line of

I take care of you, you take care of me
He did give us a great spot (although the "hated jukebox" parked near us, later) so I went up to him and gave him a ten spot surreptitiously.

That's the "Chicago Way".

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Suit Crew on the Weather Channel

The suit crew were on the weather channel with their local correspondent at the Bears' game at the season opener.

They even got the correspondent to wear an orange suit to be a suit crew guy for a day.

I wonder if he got the section 436 tattoo later.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Impractical (but cool) Shoes for the Cheap Seats

Dedicated correspondent Gerry caught these custom Bears high heels on the shoes of a female Bear fan.

Not drunk but very cool. Especially because we know that she had to climb the stairs way up to the cheap seats in 'em. I think Gerry counted them and there were over 75 stairs plus it is like half a mile from the entrance into the seats in the first place.

Official Bears Tailgate Music

Dan and I often debate what the official music of a typical Bears tailgate is. There are only two options:

1) Van Halen I
2) Van Halen II

Based on this video (featured in Deadspin, gotta love 'em) the use of "You Really Got Me" from VH I now has become the official album due to this incredible tie breaker.

Tattoo Your Section Number on Your Arm

You gotta' love the dedication of the suit crew. Tattoo your section number on your arm - 436. That way if you are too drunk to know where you sit you can always just look at it. Kind of like that guy in the movie Momento.

I said that he should have written "No PSL" below the tattoo and he laughed and agreed. No PSL for the cheap seats!