Saturday, August 8, 2015

Offseason at Wrigley

I guess it would be better filed under "Drunk Saints Fans" but we saw how George McCaskey was shoved by a fan during a Monday night game, and now that guy was found guilty and sentenced to 6 months supervision. This at his own stadium! You'd think that he'd be at least the one guy who received decent security at Soldier Field.

Recently I was at Wrigley in some of my friends' seats (thanks they were awesome! Not like the seats Dan and I have way up in the sky ha ha) and we could see the chairman Ricketts walking around talking to folks. Everyone seemed to be in a good mood and it was a beautiful night and the Cubs won. When things are going well it probably pays to be an owner. I'm surprised that a Bears fan didn't tackle McCaskey since last season was such a tire fire. Good thing they fired everyone (and ate millions in salaries to pay people on guaranteed contracts) because even if the Bears stink again this year, you can't do much more than fire everybody and then try to find the best new guys available.

If there's one thing you do at Wrigley Field, it is DRINKING. I went to buy a decent beer (not Bud Light) and I found literally the most inefficient process in the universe. They have a few decent beers (Goose Island) and you stand in a line that serves beer AND FOOD (the dumb lady in front of us ordered hot dogs and a pretzel even though there are a million other places that serve that stuff) and this is one of the few stands where you can get non-piss beer. Then literally the slowest guy in the universe walked over in a couple of trips, got the bottles and cans, and poured them ever so slowly into cups. I have to hand it to the guy he let the foam go down and even topped up the cup. It must have taken 5 minutes AFTER I GOT TO HIM IN LINE. Someone else shouted "pretzel" and he added it to my bill and I'm like "I don't want a pretzel" so he then has to void the transaction and I'm not even going to talk about that but you can imagine the rest.

Wrigley Field must be losing a zillion dollars in lost beer revenue from this insane process. The entire point of Wrigley Field is to efficiently shove alcohol into gargantuan sized Illinois residents and tourists and they've got to find a way to make this occur more efficiently or I will go insane just from the lost opportunity. Ricketts - guy in the photo above - you could literally re-build the stadium out of gold bars if you could figure out this beer process. And it is so damn simple...

1) have a "beer only" section with no food
2) have servers who are not 75 years old and are mentally prepared with the concept that "people are in line to buy beer"
3) find any sort of process that doesn't involve 10 steps to acquire the beer and put it in a vessel of some sorts (a cup?)
4) expedite the payment process - hell put in Apple pay - some how drive this faster


Dan from Madison said...

Holy crap I can't believe that there is a more inefficient system than pouring beer out of cans into cups like at Soldier Field. But I guess you saw it.

Dan from Madison said...

I should add that at Miller Park it is completely efficient whether you are getting garbage cornwater or good tap beer.

Carl from Chicago said...

I too was amazed that the Cubs had forgotten how to vend beer. The guys out pushing horrible Bud Light in the stands were Johnny-on-the-spot but that wasn't helping much.

Good for Wisconsin to lead the world in efficient beer to mouth operations. Got to keep the locals 100% full of brews at all times.

Dan from Madison said...

If delivery of cornwater in Wiso was affected in any way at any event, there would literally be a riot.

Anonymous said...

Do they still sell dog-style at Wrigley? The last time I was there that was pretty much all you could get.